Someone cut me off two days ago. So I think it’s appropriate for me to write this letter.
Having been single for the millionth Valentine’s Day in a row, I understand how it feels on this day. Like me, you’re probably feeling a host of emotions.
You may be sad. You may be upset. You may be down.
You may be angry. You may be frustrated. You may be annoyed.
If you’re really like me, you may be trying to convince yourself that you shouldn’t be feeling any of those feelings because you’re supposed to be “strong,” “not care” and “leaning on the Lord”.
I get it, girl. I get it.
I will be the first to say that I don’t know why people treat single women like we’re not supposed to be sad we’re single. This time in our lives is very hard sometimes and I wish more people would recognize that.
However, this is not about them, this is about you.
I first want to say that you are beautiful. You are understood. And this is a space for you to feel validated.
While writing this, I wanted to think about all the things I hate hearing about being single so I did not write a letter full of those things. So I asked God what He wanted for you to know. And His answer was very simple.
“Tell them I love them”
I think the first and foremost thing to know about today is it is a day to celebrate love. And while it most often is romantic love that we celebrate, God wants us to open our eyes to His love first. Before you get into any relationship, God wants you to know that His love is superior to any love that you will ever experience. He created you in love. He purposed you in Love. He gifted you in love. He died for you in love. So my prayer for you today is that you experience God’s love more than EVER today and this week. I pray that He opens your eyes to see how His love covers you, favors you, protects you, and births things inside of you.
There are a couple of other things that I want for you to remember today. The first is that you are beautiful. YASSSS you with all your wonder. From your hair that tends not to act right, to your boobs that may not look how they used to. From your smile to your hip dips to your legs, you are beautiful. And not only are you physically beautiful, but you are also spiritually beautiful because you were made in the image of God. There is no one like you on this earth. You are unique and God searched this whole earth and couldn’t find anyone to do a specific assignment, so He chose you. To the world, you are special, so please do not forget that today.
The second thing I want you to remember is that you do not want to fall in love before the time is right. I know, I know. It’s one of those things you don’t want to hear, but trust me, you don’t. You can 100% meet the right person at the wrong time. You could love him but your lives clash because there were some things that you both needed to work out before you came together. I am learning that God protects us in small ways, not just huge “I didn’t get hit by a car” ways. And I think one of those ways He protects us is by holding certain things off until the right time. He knows that if you met him right now, you would be head over heels and dedicate all your time to the relationship when you really need to focus on work. Or you would fall in love when you really needed to focus on going to school. God knows your whole life from beginning to end. And He knows when your love should pop up. It won’t be too soon and it won’t be too late.
The third thing I want you to remember is to celebrate ALL love today, including the love that you have for your FRIENDS. Girl, get some of your besties together and go to dinner. The first thing I knew I wanted to do today was go to dinner with one of my friends. We both are single professionals who love really good food so let’s go! While yes, romantic love is primarily what is celebrated today, God has blessed you with so much love, you should celebrate it all. The bond in friendships is something really special and believe it should be honored. If you don’t want to go to dinner, get Chinese food and watch movies. Or if your friend lives far away, FaceTime with her today and see how lifted your heart feels. You don’t have to be alone today; pour into the people in your life and I promise that you will feel better than you could ever imagine.
Lastly, and most importantly, I want you to remember that social media isn’t real. I truly believe that social media is the worst, best thing to ever happen to society. All you get to see are highlights from someone’s life and you internalize it to believe that their life is perfect. It is not. They just got into an argument before they took that picture, she just wanted something to post. Every year, I tend not to go on social media on Valentine’s Day. It’s just to protect myself from being bombarded with pictures of couples when I don’t necessarily feel the best about being single. You have to protect your heart. And if you choose not to participate in social media today (or tomorrow because there is spill-over), that doesn’t make you bitter. Honey, that makes you smart. You know emotionally that you cannot handle all that is being posted today and you are choosing to remove yourself from the nonsense. And you know what? That is totally and completely OKAY.
Today may not be easy for you, it’s okay, it’s not easy for me either. But you are more than able to conquer this day with the love of God, your friends, family, and a little less scrolling. Remember that you are beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made and that it is okay to feel however you feel today. Do whatever makes you feel good, and if that means you pig out on pizza and wings on your couch, do it boo. I’ll even order the food for you.
You deserve all the good things in life. They are coming. And in the meantime, remember that you are blossoming and growing to be who God created you to be. And right now, that is more than enough.
Your Favorite Single Blogger, AlexiaTionne
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